I moved here a year ago. I started a new job that I thought I would stay with for, say, four more years and then I could retire. I had it figured out.
But “it wasn’t a good fit,” as they say euphemistically when a job sucks the life out of you. I totally respect the organization, but this type of work, especially in this place, is no longer healthy for me. So I’ve resigned, effective at the end of August, without a next job lined up. #stepoffaith or #desperation.
When you’re burned out, you don’t look for the same kind of work that burned you out.Therefore my search now is as much about a change of direction as it is about finding new income.
I believe in calling. I also believe mine is changing.
I crave a whole life. Not compartmentalized. Shalom giving and growing, for myself, for those I love, for the world.
What needs to happen to get there?
First, a lot of prayer. Also, trying to tap into the resources God has made available to me.
I’m doing personal work with a career coach and a counselor, which involves homework. Meditative, thinking, feeling, writing homework.
I have books I want to read or reread and actually do the exploratory exercises they recommend. In case you’re interested, they are:
- Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self, by Sarah Ban Breathnach
- The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion, by Elle Luna
- Poemcrazy: Freeing Your Life with Words, by Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge
One thing Michelle, my career coach, is helping me with is the workup to an Etsy business. This involves a line-in-the-sand date by which to research, write a business plan, create more of the products that my friend and I want to sell, set up the account and all the social media marketing pages, and write an editorial calendar and some blog posts to get us started.
Pretty exciting, because my creativity wants really badly to come out and play.
But I also have to support myself in the process. And by support I mean both income and self-care. My days don’t seem to have enough hours to do it all, but taking a step or two every day toward my new life is part of supporting myself in both ways.
So what did I do today, this Sunday, this day of rest? I paid attention to my spiritual health. I bought some luscious peaches, ice cream bars, an avocado, and a gorgeous red pepper. I had some conversations with family members. I texted with a couple of friends. I worked the Chicago Tribune Sunday crossword. I watched an episode of The Gilmore Girls. I filled out a job application. I did laundry. I made notes on potential blog topics, which is part of homework. And here I am, writing this one.
Finishing this job well is important, but I am looking forward to being free of it so that I can move more fully forward, even if I can’t see all the steps yet.